The Smiley Face Game

The smiley face.  Created simply out of two punctuation marks.  A semi colon and closing parenthesis.  That’s it, it’s that simple.  Used to symbolize happiness, as most would think.  I say bullshit.  These two punctuation symbols placed one after another mean so much more, at least in this world, with technology, to most girls.

When he sends a smiley face it can means so many things.  He likes you.  He’s thinking about you.  He has nothing to say so he sent you an emoticon.  There is never a straight answer to this symbol, therefore you never truly know what the smiley says.

I realized the madness of what this world has come to last night when I updated my status to this character. Most people probably saw this and assumed, “oh she had a good day today,” but no.  These two eyes and a grin meant something completely different.  It was supposed to make him wonder.  Make him think about what I’m doing, who I’m with, what is she so happy about?  Why did she put up that smiley face?

A couple of years ago this would of played out differently.  Instead of sitting gin my bed wondering why I haven’t received a text in three days after spending what I thought was a great weekend with a guy.  I would most likely of already picked up the phone and had a conversation.  Unfortunately, in today’s world it’s more acceptable to play a game.  A series of back and forth turns and twists to try and lure the other person to take the first move and speak to the other.

Wondering what the response to my “statused” smiley face was?  A returned status, with the exact same smiley face.  Fuck games.

The Co-Worker

Unlike your typical college student, I worked a lot.  Not to say I didn’t go out and party but my weekday mornings, while everyone else is sleeping off their hangover, I was at work at the most calm hour of 7:00a am.  Spending 30+ hours a week at work really gets you bonding with the people you’re with the majority of the day.  And what’s better than bonding?  Flirting.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the term work crush.  That’s how it initially started out.  We worked over a year together before anything other than shameless work flirting even happened.  Actually, at first I thought I was the only one feeling this way and he was just being friendly.  I looked forward to the days that we would work together, those shifts didn’t even feel like work!

I went home for the summer and when I came up to visit one weekend I stopped by knowingly he was working a shift.  I felt weak at the knees just seeing him!  We flirtatiously texted all weekend.  When I came back to school in the Fall, all hell broke loose.  We both admitted how much we like each other and how we need to hook up.

A work affair is one of the hottest scenarios a girl can dream about.  After weeks of constant texts (sexts) and at work flirting one day it finally happened.  It was spontaneous, ridiculous, and most of all so erotic.  We snuck off to the bathroom and had our very first on the job make-out session.  Yes it was quick, primal, and over the top.

Then later that night, we found ourselves in his car ripping each others’ clothes off.  It was so fun having this little secret at work, where not one of our co-workers knew what was going on.

Graduating really was the worst part of college.  Now a 40+ hour week is just not as entertaining.

#noregrets?

I want to start this post by saying, I promise I’m not a backstabbing bitch.  After this story most of you probably won’t agree but the other small percentage will most likely just relate.

I’m one of those people who means well.  I don’t like to take advantage of others, I’m not a fan of asking for help, and I definitely consider myself a good friend (usually).  Don’t get me wrong, I love having fun and going a little crazy but I also know right from wrong.  I believe in a balanced life.

Some background: I made out with a guy friend of mine one drunken night my sophomore year of college.  It was only one time and we stayed good friends.  A couple of year went by and a newish friend of mine started dating him.  I was happy for them both but it didn’t last very long.  Maybe a couple of months tops.  She was heartbroken when he ended it and he being the player that he was, didn’t give two shits.  They would constantly hook up after the breakup and it always ended in tears on her part.

Alright so fast forward more than a year later.  She’s still obsessed.

I didn’t see him that often but when I did he was hitting on me hard core.  Not just flirting with me, but there was ass grabbing, getting into my bed.  And I resisted, resisted really hard because he was making it very obvious.  Basically begging me to hook up with him.  I kept telling him I can’t do that, she was my friend!

Then one night after months of this back and forth he got too drunk to drive home.  “Can I please sleep in your bed tonight?”  I knew he did this on purpose.  “Ugh, fine. But nothing’s going to happen! We are literally just going to sleep.”

At first we were just laying there talking, cuddling a little bit but nothing more.  We spoke for a while but then he began  kissing my neck.  Trailing his hands across my body, up and down, up and down.  He was driving me nuts.  I like to say I have high self control but I couldn’t take it anymore.  The next time his lips grazed mine, I kissed back, full force.

The undressing started and just kept going.  At this point, all was lost and I just dived right in.  It was one of the most intense sex sessions I’ve ever had and in the morning we even went for round two.  I felt a little guilty the next day but my bed still had a little bit of his scent left and that just turned me on.

There’s something about being with a forbidden someone that makes everything just 10x better, maybe it’s like a Romeo and Juliette complex except in this case it was just physical.  We never did it again but I always feel a little guilty when I hang out with my girlfriend since she has no idea…

Plan B and Me

So it dawned on me today when I was standing in line at Walgreens thinking about the activities of last night and how I got here, “I really need to be writing these stories down somewhere.”  This thought has crossed my mind more than once before.  Actually many times.

So anyways, I’m standing in line at the pharmacy of my neighborhood Walgreens.  I just decided that I need to get back on birth control since obviously being off of it isn’t helping anyone and is about to make me $50 poorer.  After giving the lady at the counter my refill information I also quietly asked her, “Where can I find the Plan B?”.  She smirks and points me over to the cashier at the front of the store.  Now, I am not one to be shy about my sex life, hence I am writing it down for the world to read but in this situation, things could not have gone more awkwardly.

Now I’m standing in line waiting to ask yet another person to sell me this tiny little pill that will save me from popping out mini me anytime soon when more and more people start standing behind me, great.  Finally,

Me: “Hi, the woman at the pharmacy said that I can buy Plan B here”

Cashier: “Umm…yea I think we have it up here.” and then whispers pretty loudly “Do you want to buy it?!”

Me: Yes, please…

Cashier: “Ok well I don’t know if there’s any sort of permits on selling this” and then turns to the other sales lady and loudly says in front of probably 6 other people in line, “Is there anything I need to check before selling her Plan B??”

I quickly paid and made a dash for it.  Couldn’t have gone better.